One important application of affirmations is using affirmations for managing anger. When anger is not felt and expressed in a healthy way, it gets inappropriately directed towards others resulting in aggressive behavior, or it is turned inward resulting in wimpy behavior.
Fortunately, there is an alternative–being assertive. When you are assertive, you state your feelings, thoughts and wishes and stand up for your rights without violating the rights of others. One does this does this by using “I think,” “I feel,” and “I want ” statements. Here are some affirmations that will give you permission to express your anger in a healthy way.
Affirmations for Giving Yourself Permission to Express Anger
I have a right to assert myself.
I can express my anger in a respectful way.
I express my anger without shaming the person.
I use “I” statements to express my displeasure.
I get angry at the behavior, rather than the person.
Affirmations Responding to Provocation
Affirmations are a wonderful tool to work with anger when we feel provoked, because of this truth: Angry words and actions arise from angry thoughts and feelings. Here are specific affirmations you can say to yourself that can change your thinking if you are on the verge of losing it.
Before the Provocation
I can notice when I am becoming angry.
I can remember to count to ten and take deep breaths.
I can feel my anger and still stay in control.
I can take a break and stay in control.
I can talk things out with other people.
During the Provocation
I notice that I am becoming angry.
I am controlling my anger by changing my anger-triggering thoughts.
I am counting to ten.
I am remembering to breathe deeply.
I can take a break if I need to.
I am handling this well.
I am doing it!
After the Provocation
I was able to be angry without exploding.
I remembered to use my affirmations.
It feels great to handle my anger.
I’m proud of myself.
Getting It Right the Second Time
Unfortunately, we do not always express our anger skillfully. It is easy to have our buttons pushed by a child, spouse, parent, etc. Fortunately, when we lose control, we can work to get it right the second time. Here are some positive words that you can say to yourself:
Affirmations for Staying in Control the Second Time
I lost control and I am sorry.
Next time, I will notice that I am getting angry sooner.
I will choose a different way to respond.
I will remember to stop, relax and think before I act.
I am responsible for my anger.
Affirmations for Making Amends
I can admit it when I make a mistake.
When I apologize to others, I help to lessen the affects of the anger.
I forgive myself for my unskillful behavior.
I am working hard to stop this type of behavior.
Making mistakes and learning from them is part of being human.
I can do better next time.